Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
