we're chasing vodka with high fives
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
