I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
