the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You left your phone here
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