even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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