I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
