Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I still have a little drunk in my system
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
