I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
from now on my penis is your penis
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
