Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
