so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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