She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
