I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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