I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
