So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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