all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
