I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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