3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
