The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Boobs are out for the taking
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
