He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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