$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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