Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
