I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
what day is it and did you see me today?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
