My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
