There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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