is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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