No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
