Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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