i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize