We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
