He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
