My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
