Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How does it feel to date your dad?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
