By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Randomize
