He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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