Ambien. No doubt about it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
