No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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