I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
