I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize