OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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