i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
