3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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