her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm getting married
To pizza
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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