it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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