Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's rum buckets o'clock
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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