i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
