On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
