the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
