Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
