Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize