I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
