i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
