it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
