hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
