The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
