Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
