Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
