? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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