Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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