Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
