i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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