I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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